I'll start a new feature in my blog known as Legacy Beats, where I'll dig up some of my old blog entries from previous blogs, and expose them to my readers. Most of it will probably by throwback material, like features of old pictures or adventures, and maybe even some articles or poetry I've made.
Today, I'll do a throwback to one of the popular entries I posted in my old blog, Justin Just in Time, on a rather controversial topic: the Friend Zone! I'm not sure I 100% agree with myself now, but generally speaking I still find most of what I wrote to be true.
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Originally written on January 12, 2012
Yesterday, I met a friend and we discussed about a variety of things related to relationships. Over the course of our discussion, we chanced upon the concept of friend zones and what not.
My conclusion after that discussion was this: the friend zone does not exist. Some may be taken aback by this statement, but bear with me a bit. The friend zone does not exist. It is merely a ploy used by people, as their euphemistic way of rejecting you lightly, without sounding that harsh.
"Oh, I don't date friends. It won't work out." "Sorry, but you're like a brother to me." "I don't want to ruin what we already have." "I'm not good enough for you. You deserve better than me." Bullcrap! All of it is bullcrap! None of those rejections are heartfelt at all. They are merely candy-coated rejections, where when you get to the chocolate shitty center, it just means "I'm just not that into you." "I'm not attracted to you." "I just don't like you that way."
Debunkery number one: The "I don't date friends" excuse is bullcrap. I've heard this a couple of times with some friends and acquaintances of mine. A few years later, I find out that they're dating a close friend of theirs. That's just so weird and hypocritical, it's not even funny. They should have just told the truth and said that "Oh, you're a friend of mine, but a friend I wouldn't be dating." At least that's the truth.
Debunkery number two: The "I don't want to ruin what we already have" excuse is bullcrap. It's actually more likely to ruin the friendship to give such a half-hearted excuse as that. Give me the real reason, and not some baloney you managed to whip up in an instant.
Debunkery number three: The "You deserve better than me" excuse is bullcrap. What I deserve is you! Don't tell me what I don't deserve or do deserve, because I just made it quite clear that you're what I feel I deserve. To give this kind of excuse is just plain retarded. Often times, it is a projection of the actual feelings of the person who is saying it, that in actuality what she meant to say was "I deserve better than crappy little you."
I think the world needs to stop sugarcoating the truth and let this emotional limbo die out (like what the Catholic tradition did with the real limbo). The friend zone does not exist, but friendship does. Maybe one should just say that you're not attracted to that person or not interested, but that you want to remain friends.
On a final note, a word of advice to friendzoned guys (and gals) everywhere. Watch for the warning signals. You kinda have to start feeling whether something is just a friendly hang out, or a romantic date. You can't just assume anything, because nowadays, there are a lot of people who are incredibly nice to the point that you feel its romantic connection. Even worse, there are people who are just nice so they can get something out of you. Don't just jump in and assume it's love, coz for the most part it's not. I don't want to sound like a DJ Heidi here, but I'm just being practical.
Till next time! Hope you enjoyed the article, and keep yourselves out of the friend zone limbo.
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File under: Beat#0014 - Time to Say Goodbye - PAWWS (ASL Records)
Last.fm Popularity: 3,933 listeners
Why music bloggers would like it: North Londoner Lucy Taylor presents a heartbreakingly dazzling track that seems instantly likable and effortless. Half eighties throwback, half clean line production, Time to Say Goodbye is a mix of pristine vocals and fairy dust, a sweeping ballad for loves lost.
Why I really like it: It's a heartbreaker song from a female vocalist with a feather thin voice. And man those lyrics will cut through you like! And have you seen how she has less than 4000 last fm listeners? Much hipster! Wow!
Fave lyrics:
"And I can't believe that it's really it's time to say goodbye,
I guess you know when you've both got no more tears to cry."
If you liked this, you might also like:
Savious - LIGHTS (SIRE Records)
Strangers (ft. Tove Lo) - Seven Lions & Myon & Shane 54 (Casablanca Music LLC)
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